It was a sweet, cold day in November 2014 when I married the second love of my life (Jesus will always be my first). While we mostly spent our relationship of three years apart, I knew right then that he is the one God prepared for me.
How could I not know?
It’s only to him that I felt a mini heart attack when we stopped talking for a while even when we were just in the getting to know stage.
It’s only to him that I saw all the signs that I have been praying for since I was in high school.
I’m very certain, deep in my soul, he is the gift of Jesus to me.
There is only one thing that I did not expect is us being in the two opposite sides of the world.
Marrying him was my choice. So this includes embracing a whole new life that is coming ahead of me.
I have made a decision – leave everything: my family, my friends, career, comfort zone and start from scratch with him. “It’s pretty easy“, I said. “Afterall, we’ll be together.”
And I wish I could tell you it was really that easy.
Until comes the new chapter of my life. Something I have not learned in school. Something I have not fully prepared myself- to be a WIFE.
After two weeks of adjusting in the US soil, I took the role of being a wife 24/7. The only thing I’m good at is frying, but I convinced myself that cooking is fun.
With the help of Youtube and Pinterest (what will I do without you?), I slowly learned different dishes and recipes. My in-laws, who were with us during those days are really convinced I have a gift in cooking. But I actually hide the recipe on my phone and pretend I know it all.
Mmm, don’t judge!
There were instances that visitors would ask me about the process of the recipe. Guess what? I would excuse myself, pretend to go to the bathroom and review the recipe again.
My husband spoils me so much. He buys anything I request. We go out all the time. I felt like we were just dating, and all I can think of is pure fun.
Until it kicks inside me that I shortchange him. I felt the need to become a real wife. So the duties began.
I wake up early to prepare his breakfast.
Talk to him while he eats.
Walk up to the door to say a prayer before he leaves. We hug and kiss each other. I watch him from the window until I don’t see his car anymore.
Organize the house.
Lurk Pinterest and other social media in between.
Take a nap for 3 hours, lol.
Do some laundry (even that means throwing it in the washer, lol).
Clean the countertops.
Pack his lunch.
Take a shower.
Wait for him.
Watch TV together or play board games ’til I rant on how he beats me.
Do it again the next day.
I got pretty much burned out. I felt like my life was so monotonous. I used to have my family around me who does all these things for me. I felt like I lost my wings. I suddenly felt so depressed. All I can see everyday is my husband. There are days I resent him. I keep telling myself that this is not the kind of life I want.
It did not help that some people keep asking if I am working or still a housewife. I felt like it was a huge defeat for me that I am a full time housewife after being so busy in my past years. Life here in US is very different from my country. I have to be independent and not rely on everyone all the time.
I felt depressed more than ever. I told my husband “you took everything I have.”
My husband just hugged me and said that he will book me flight so I can come home. He said,“I’d rather see you happy even though you’re far from me than you are here beside me but you are sad.”
Those words hit me straight into the heart. I looked at him and all I can see is pain.
I told him that we should stop praying because God never answers prayers. He held my hand and told me “Pssshhh, don’t say that.” And he then leads the prayer.
Many times I would cry. He would slide out of the room quietly until I feel better.
I never expected depression would hit me badly and regarded “housewife” as a curse to me. It turned out it all roots from the adjustment period from my migration and being married.
Until one time, I met a lady. I will never forget what she said. “Be happy you have a home to keep and a husband to care.”
She’s right! I woke up to my senses.
Not everyone is blessed enough to have a loving husband like mine.
Not everyone can experience how to keep a home.
Not everyone gets to kiss her husband goodbye for work and welcomes him back home.
Not everyone has a hand to hold during a trip. Or take many photos of you.
Not everyone has someone who tickles you badly ’til you beg him to stop.
Not everyone will be patient to order a to-go because you need a break from cooking.
Not everyone has a partner who goes to church with you.
Not everyone has a prayer partner.
Not everyone sees your flaws but still thinks you are beautiful.
Not everyone is capable of loving you.
Not everyone has what I have – a godly HUSBAND.
God just gave me the right message.
I started to see the sunrise again. I saw life again in a deeper meaning. I became more appreciative of my husband.
I began to count the blessings I have with him.
We travel often together.
We tell random stories and laugh about it.
We annoy each other.
He picks me up from stores. He drives me to wherever I want.
He would say no to my requests. But when I do the “puppy look” pleaaaaase, he will easily give in.
Someone says “My gosh, this is so yummy! Pack this for my lunch.” Or “Mmm it’s good but I just don’t like eating this.”
Someone tucks you in when sleeping.
And many more random things.
And because I am a HOUSEWIFE, I learned so many things that I would’ve not probably learned on my busy days.
I learned how to crochet, sew, bake, cook, garden, organize, grocery shop, meal plan,entertain visitors, play the piano, plan trips and many more.
I appreciate my mom even more. If only I could have half of the patience and warmth she has. I admire wives even more. Please don’t get me wrong of not thinking of them highly. It was because my mind was focused on career before.
I still do the same things right now and thank God, I do them with joy. I love it now more than ever.
I failed to realize the beauty of it because my eyes are focused in the past.
Being able to share it is a clear sign I have passed that phase. Being a wife is such a rewarding job and experience. I will never trade my husband for anything else.
He gives me constant joy.
I love this verse so much:
“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.”–Proverbs 12:4
I am happy to report also that everytime people ask me what I do, I proudly say “I’m a housewife and it is a choice I happily made.”
So to all housewives and stay at home moms out there, let’s all raise our glasses and toast.